Heartbroken.
Heartbroken about what Geraldine has told me.
At first, I didn't believe it was true. What faithful husband would? Even in our wedding vowels, Fran promised me that she would never even look at another guy, because they would never compare to me. That sentence has clung to me ever since.
After reviewing what Geraldine said, I guess it made sense. Once a year or so, Fran conveniently had to go to an art exhibition that she was invited to. But, I was always suspicious. She never came back with any photos, never came back with any paintings or exciting stories. She always just said, "It was fine. The food was quite nice." Or something along those lines.
The moment Geraldine told me, I knew it was true. I didn't want to believe it, but I had to. Was the Fran that I knew visiting Paul Healey or was it a different side of Fran that she never let out? I was curious to know.
Then, I had to make the decision about whether or not I wanted to confront her with it. How was I supposed to bring it up? Take her to a nice dinner and say, "I know you're cheating on me. After twenty god-damned years, you still can't bear to stay faithful with me?"
No, I shan't be so rude. The best thing to do would be to keep it to myself. Although, who knows whom Geraldine is going to tell? She could never keep anything a secret, always so dramatic about everything.
I love Fran. I do. And if keeping this secret keeps us from breaking apart, then so be it. There would have to be reasoning behind it, surely.
Who knows? Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I haven't... satisfied her enough. Why else would she be doing it? For the thrill? For the thrill of not being caught? Hardly. Fran's days of rebelling are over. That's why she married me. She told me that it was time to let those days go.
